October 17, 2003
 

Politics

Ayodhya is simmering again, and the PM wants the UP government to trust the VHP. Vajpayee certainly does have a lot of gall to make that statement, coming as it does after Pravin Togadia threatened communal riots if the Sangh Parivar's attempts to enter Ayodhya were thwarted. Anyone who makes a brazen threat of that nature deserves to be in jail. People've been jailed under POTA for talking allegiance to terrorist groups. On paper, the likes of the VHP, RSS & Bajrang Dal aren't terrorists, but for the amount of destruction they can cause when angry, they do qualify as terrorists. Then again, the centre is left in a Catch-22 situation. If they (and thats a BIG if) arrest Togadia, they do risk the nation going up in flames, particularly the cow-belt. If they let the likes of Togadia, Giriraj Kishore, Ashok Singhal, Vinay Katiyar etc. get away scot-free with their venom, then they risk communal riots anyway. As it is, there're a few idiotic Muslim leaders who're saying they'd approach the UN to carve out a "safe haven" for Muslims in India on the lines of the Kurdish area in Iraq. There're idiots and rabid fanatics on both sides. At a time when the government talks of India being a developed nation by 2020 (AD, that is), these morons are threatening to wage revenge battles for 16th century happenings.

Jayalalitha and Mani Shankar Aiyer have got into an absolutely adorable spat, which culminated in Aiyar being thrashed up by AIADMK goondas. Mani had gone to a place near Karaikal to participate in a state government function at which the CM was the chief guest. The real story will perhaps never be told, but word is that Jayalalitha asked Mani to repeat his famous quote which he'd offered to scribes after Jayalalitha donated an elephant calf to the Guruvayoor temple. Mani is reported to have said that if he became CM, he'd donate Jayalalitha to the temple! Jaya questioned Mani's guts and asked him to repeat himself at the venue (an AIADMK stronghold, evidently). Mani retorted asking Jayalalitha to repeat her comments on Sonia Gandhi not being Indian (and by extension, not qualifying to be PM) in Delhi (a Congress stronghold). He then left the meeting in a huff after some sarcastic words were exchanged. On the way back, his car was attacked by people who he claims were AIADMK cadre. Tamil Nadu is never short of entertainment. Aside from Kahleefohrnia, TN ranks among the great examples of movie stars becoming successful politicians. That brings me to this - created in cahoots with Nitin, based on our experiences there and some deep thinking.

Top 20 reasons why the US and India are alike

1. They have Texas, we have UP.
   
2. The immigration queues are as long in both places.
   
3. Domestic airlines have fat aunty airhostesses/stewardesses/staff.
   
4. For their KFC, we have our Saravana Bhavans
   
5. You find hoardings all over the place (admittedly India does have an advantage here).
   
6. Movie star turned politicians in the US and India.
   
7. Dynastic politics in the US and India (for Nehru/Gandhi, read Kennedy/Bush).
   
8. They have the Tennessee River Valley disputes, we have our Kaveri annual ritual.
   
9. For native Americans, read Adivasis/SC/ST.
   
10. For affirmative action, read reservations.
    
11. For their Marlboro cigarettes, we have Malabar beedis.
    
12. India : Goa :: USA : Alaska.
    
13. The Brits ruled us both. We moved our capital from Calcutta to Delhi, they moved from Philadelphia to Washington DC.
    
14. The US has class action lawsuits, India has public interest litigations.
    
15. The best doctors and engineers in USA studied in India, so did the ones in India.
    
16. For their Starbucks, we have the NAESEY kiosk bars of TN and the Nair kadais.
    
17. Hawkers on NY street corners sell cheap watches made in China, ditto in India.
    
18. They have a hawkish Rumsfeld, we have Advani.
    
19. They have a Colin Powell, we have Jaswant (retired military).
    
20. They have George Washington, we have AB Vajpayee (approx. same age!).
    

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Cricket

So its been two days for India on the field and New Zealand dont seem like declaring. I cant see this match having a result. I suppose the great attacking, innovative captained named Fleming either isnt sure 550 is enough for his bowlers to bowl India out before 350 (or to win a Test for that matter!) or he prefers to let his "last frontier" pass for now so he can come back 3-4 years later for another shot. The Mohali pitch has been better than Ahmedabad, there's more bounce for the bowlers. But I tend to think the curator thought it was a ODI pitch. There doesnt seem to be any deterioration in the wicket. The bounce and pace are quite even. Poor Dravid, he must be cursing Ganguly for opting out, much as Vaughan would have had choice abuse for Nasser a couple of months ago.

I think the Indian media should start portraying the Kiwis as a bunch of boring cricketers, not interested in winning at all. They should snap out of any column syndication deals with them. The Kiwis have been totally unable to get past the Indian top-order, taking 5 and 6 wickets in each innings at Ahmedabad. They've bored the pants off the spectators, for sure. They came here, claiming to try to make history, but evidently making history implies not losing the series rather than winning. That is about as negative an approach as you can get. Coming as it does from a team whose captain is acknowledged to be among the finest and most innovative in the modern era, it sums them up. For all the talents they have - Richardson's grit, Fleming-Astle-McMillan's flair & Vettori's guile, they've proved themselves to be undeserving of any plaudits. They're absolutely unwatchable.

Rambled @ 6:58 PM

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